This had to be shared.

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wolf2uk
Posts: 2250
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:01 am
Location: Pembrokeshire

This had to be shared.

Post by wolf2uk »

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?" "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night." You gotta love Grandmas!
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A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
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Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk..' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.

2) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3) It is always the right temperature.

4) It is inexpensive.

5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.

6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A.
Drake he's his hammock till the great Armadas come, slung atween the round shot, listenin' for the drum, Captain, art tha sleepin' there below.!

Blarney
Posts: 343
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:52 pm
Location: Tasmania, Australia

Re: This had to be shared.

Post by Blarney »

Thank you for sharing. I'll now do likewise and give me rellies a laugh.

Cheers.

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